Fizzled.

Around this time last year, I had divided my playing time into three major releases: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword on the Wii, Batman: Arkham City on the PlayStation 3, and Assassin’s Creed: Revelations on Xbox 360.

I had no particular reason to be excited for last year’s Assassin’s Creed game. I felt I had my fill of Renaissance-era Italy and Ezio Auditore at the end of Brotherhood, released the year before that. In fact, Revelations was the first game in the series I hadn’t gone out of my way to purchase the day of release, and mixed reviews helped decide it would be worth it at a lower price, which it reached that Black Friday. The game is rather forgettable, with Ezio taking his silent killing talents to Turkey, a frankly awful Portal-lite game that slightly characterizes series surrogate Desmond Miles, the mysterious Subject 16, and, perhaps the game’s only highlight, gives a dignified conclusion to Altaïr, the first game’s hero.

Still, I had a particularly slow 2012, so it already feels so long ago I was watching a trailer introducing, finally, the true sequel and billed next step forward in this interesting, engaging franchise. It is set during the American Revolution, a period of history I never tire of reading about, and we’re going to meet Miles’ next ancestor to don the uniform, a Native American who goes by Connor (or Ratonhnhaké:ton, his birth name). It was developed with a new engine, and had supposedly been in development for three years. We would get Assassin’s Creed 3.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. After reading tweets of mixed impressions, Assassin’s Creed 3 would be another game I would happily wait on a lower price. Black Friday delivered, as usual, and secured a copy. I also managed to get my hands on its PlayStation Vita spin-off title Assassin’s Creed: Liberation, set in the south during the French and Indian War. The game comes bundled with the limited edition white Vita, which I’d been coveting for some time.

I’ve only spent a week with both games, and I have come to the decision to take a break from this series for maybe six months to a year, or if I have a strong desire to return. I don’t know how this series became so lazy. I’ve read people criticize Ubisoft for launching the yearly installment plan Activision infamously carries out with their blockbuster Call of Duty games. Assassin’s Creed 3 plays like a game that absolutely could have used another year in development, to fix a number of gameplay and technical problems and perhaps going against the grain and deciding a day one patch wouldn’t cut it. The game has seen one, maybe two patches since release. Its slow beginning serves no true purpose other than to show the player basic commands, and to provide a twist that means nothing emotionally since we don’t know Connor enough yet to appreciate it. Previous games absolutely had more variety in its design than having you simply follow people and maybe kill one or two of them. Its historical cameos are just those, without real contribution to the story, in a way that makes Connor the Forrest Gump of videogames.

I’ve come across one glitch that forced me to reset the game, and a number of smaller ones that kill the momentum of mission success. Traverse in this series prided itself on the heroes’ ability to utilize parkour and maneuver through structures and architecture. The downside of this is the occasional hiccup of someone grabbing the wrong ledge when you mean to go another direction, which can make enemy evasion somewhat problematic. The issue seems to double in Assassin’s Creed 3 already because it’s not a particularly complete game. I will applaud two things this game does: 1) has pretty fun naval missions, so much so that they’re more fun than the offerings of the main story 2) get me to be interested in Desmond again as he, his partners from previous games, and his father look to secure more… Apple of Eden information… seemingly in Manhattan. I have been completely lost in that portion of the overall plot, particularly since some of the story is told through separate downloadable content I have no interest in paying for.

Even when it isn’t working against me, the game is not fun to play outside the aforementioned naval combat missions. Each mission comes with secondary objectives for “full synchronization,” whatever that entails outside a trophy/achievement and maybe a new item, but the only way they’re challenging is because the game doesn’t want you to accomplish them, with controls working against you (sticking to large structures for cover is incredibly counterintuitive; you’d think the developers would assign a ‘crouch’ or ‘stick to walls’ command like many stealth action games do…), and enemy AI that will either ignore you in the open or suspect you no matter what you do.

I’m also sick and tired of cutscenes disguised as gameplay. Follow this person, listen to this conversation, etc. Why does anyone think this is a good idea? The UI in the pause menu is atrocious. Why does the weapon/tool wheel need its own screen when the real-time selection in previous games worked just fine? It’s here where I’m entering into nitpicking territory, but a game like Assassin’s Creed 3, at least for the moment, represents a number of things I dislike in modern game design.

I mentioned owning Liberation, but I believe my frustrations with AC3 are skewing my enjoyment of the handheld game, although I believe the game moves at an incredible snail-like pace. That’s not helpful, since the Vita device has a relatively short battery life per session. I’m not sure if I’m ready to say anything about it, but I’m saying farewell for now.

And for the record, I’m playing the PlayStation 3 copy of Assassin’s Creed 3. I have no idea how that compares to its other platforms, but it needed more time in the oven.

E3 2012: Am I already too old for this?

Last week, the big game studios showed up for the 2012 Electronic Entertainment Expo, better simply known as E3, to give us a taste of what’s to come in the next few months to a year. I didn’t go, because I am not press or a developer. I can only write as someone whose relationship with these companies extends to me handing them money for their product. Spike TV and its associated web site Game Trailers were nice enough to broadcast all sorts of game demos as well as the major press conferences themselves.

I honestly wasn’t sure how I wanted to approach this piece. Even after the official first day of E3, I had talked about the conferences to death on Twitter and message boards. With the exception of Ubisoft, who showed some great-looking content, none of the conferences did anything that ‘surprised’ me or grabbed my attention. After Halo 4 footage that does its best Metroid: Prime impersonation, Microsoft began to sell the idea of the Xbox as an entertainment brand, beyond playing a game and paying for extra content. Watch television shows and movies on Netflix and Hulu Plus. Catch up on Game of Thrones and Veep on HBO Go (which requires paying for a cable subscription, HBO, and then an Xbox Live Gold membership). Their big moment came when they introduced Internet Explorer and their Smart Glass app, which serves as a sort of PDA for entertainment. Get cast biographies for the movie or show you’re watching. Turn your tablet (iPad) into an interactive map for an adventure game. While this may sound convenient or fun, the way it was demonstrated indicated that Smart Glass seeks to solve a problem that doesn’t exist. I’m not sure I need an interactive Westeros map while I’m already trying to remember names on Game of Thrones. I’m already using GameFAQs to get help with games, and also I’m not using my tablet with my entertainment as frequently as Microsoft wants me to.

The real stars of the show were South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone who took the stage to quickly talk about the upcoming South Park: The Stick of Truth, developed by Obsidian Entertainment, but delivered the conference’s only major highlight with this quote:

“How many times have you been watching an episode of South Park and thought, ‘I’d like to be able to watch this on my television, while hooked into my mobile device, which is controlled by my tablet device, which is hooked into my oven,’ all while sitting in the refrigerator?”

Somewhere in the conference was an Usher performance and a Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 demo where people shot things and were shot at. It was everything I was already expecting from Microsoft after their terrible conference last year and it delivered for all the wrong reasons.

Last year, Ubisoft delivered upon the world Mr. Caffeine, a manic gentleman who informed us of upcoming “Tom Ca-lancy” games and used Wayne’s World references to do it. Survivors of the conference refuse to talk about it to this day. This year, Aisha Tyler took the stage for Ubisoft, and I’m not sure if ever a huge upgrade took place than having her host, because she was great and very enthusiastic. Her only crime honestly was having to share the stage with a Tobuscus, a YouTube ‘personality’ who went by Toby where silly, scripted back and forth banter ensued, and then we saw games.

Ubisoft had probably the most solid line-up with Far Cry 3, whose demo was one of the strangest, drug-fueled demos I had ever seen. Rayman Legends, which is exclusive to Nintendo’s upcoming Wii U system, is looking like a solid follow-up to the fantastic Rayman Origins, which I talked about earlier this year. I’m hoping Rayman Legends will feature as great a soundtrack as its predecessor. Ubisoft also showed new footage of Assassin’s Creed III, which I have ordered from Amazon despite its October release date. Perhaps the biggest and most talked-about surprise is the new game coming titled Watch_Dogs. The demo showed a man walking around a huge virtual recreation of Chicago and proceeding to gather information about its residents with a device that allows hacking of mobile devices and also jamming communication signals and even manipulate traffic lights as he sees fit. The demo concluded with this man in a shoot-out with his antagonists, which honestly presents a slight concern over how much taking cover and shooting I will actually do in Watch_Dogs. Regardless of this, although I’ve never visited Chicago, the world was stunning and was also impressed by the number of NPCs walking around the town without a hint of frame rate dropping. I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on it.

The evening of “Day Zero” closed out with Sony’s press conference which, aside from Naughty Dog’s The Last of Us, Quantic Dream’s Beyond: Two Souls, and footage of the Vita game Assassin’s Creed: Liberation, did very little to catch my interest. We got a demo for God of War: Ascension, the next title in the seven-year PlayStation series, where Kratos kills more things in the same way he has for the last seven years. I’m sure the fans have already eaten it up, especially when Kratos killed an elephant minotaur by cutting it in half. One thing I was looking forward to was Sony’s plans for the Vita. It’s almost common knowledge at this point that the PlayStation Vita isn’t off to a particularly strong start across the globe, with its predecessor the PlayStation Portable outselling it in Japan. I’ve seen more doom and gloom comments than positive ones despite the device being four months into its launch in the United States. Sony unveiled… a Call of Duty logo and an Assassin’s Creed spinoff game. In fairness, I do think the Assassin’s Creed title has plenty of potential to get major use of the device’s hardware, but E3 is the center stage to show people what you’re up to and what to look forward to and to get the folks excited for it (a point I will reiterate with Nintendo). Instead, we got Wonderbook. Wonderbook, from what I understand, is an augmented reality software that utilizes the PlayStation Eye Toy device where you have interactive experiences with storybooks. It might sound fun for the kids, but it didn’t look “explain this product for 15 to 20 minutes” fun. While I think SCEA President Jack Tretton did a decent job onstage and successfully got the crowd excited for God of War and The Last of Us. Quantic Dream showed footage of their newest game, Beyond: Two Souls, which stars actress Ellen Page. I’m not sure what kind of game it will be. Will it be another “interactive experience” (i.e. quick-timer event) game like 2010′s Heavy Rain?

A few nice details here and there about games, mostly lackluster, and then there’s Nintendo, which I will talk about tomorrow because there’s a lot to address.