Nintendo 3DS ‘Ambassador’ program reminds us of primitive goodness and frustration with free NES games.

Surprisingly, Nintendo seemed to have uploaded their free Nintendo Entertainment System games for their 3DS ‘Ambassadors’ a day earlier than they had announced. Typically I’m sitting around in the afternoon to evening waiting for something new to show up on the Virtual Console. I think Nintendo is still trying to figure out this newfangled “internet” business the kids are raving about today.

The NES games are Nintendo’s thanks to folks who purchased their Nintendo 3DS device at the original $249 price tag before it was officially lowered to $169 last month due more than likely to unmet sales expectations. 10 Game Boy Advance games were also included in this reward package. Five have been confirmed.

The following GBA games have been confirmed as of this entry:

• Mario Kart: Super Circuit (2001)
• Metroid: Fusion (2002)
• Super Mario Advance 3: Yoshi’s Island (1995, 2002)*
• Wario Ware, Inc.: Mega Microgame$ (2003)
• Mario vs. Donkey Kong (2004)

*Super Mario Advance 3: Yoshi’s Island is a Game Boy Advance port of the 1995 Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island originally on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3 (1990, 2003) has been rumored to be part of the package.

Leave it to Nintendo to refrain from keeping it simple, however. Their interface for browsing has typically been notoriously convoluted. Unless there was another way some of us completely missed, this is how you access your free NES games:

1. Access the Nintendo eShop from the 3DS menu.
2. Tap ‘Menu’
3. Find and tap ‘Settings / Other’
4. Find and tap ‘Your Downloads’
5. Find one of the NES games such as Super Mario Bros. and tap ‘Redownload’
6. Once the download finishes, repeat Step 2…

I’m not even kidding. When it asks if you’d like to continue, you are taken back to the first eShop menu, and it becomes a lather and repeat process for all six steps. I use a very good internet connection at home, but folks who aren’t so lucky may be sitting tight for a bit.

Nintendo released the following games, and I will be talking about some of them today:

• Donkey Kong, Jr. (1982)
• Balloon Fight (1984)
• Ice Climbers (1985)
• Wrecking Crew (1985)
• Super Mario Bros. (1985)
• Metroid (1986)
• The Legend of Zelda (1986)
• Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (1987)
• NES Open Tournament Golf (1991)
• Yoshi (1992)

Possibly the most successful spin-off of all time. /kanyewest

Super Mario Bros.

A long lost gem by Nintendo, never to be ever revisited–who am I kidding? You know what this is. Your grandmother knows who he is. Moses knew what Super Mario Bros. was and he split the Red Sea in two to find a copy. This was just the beginning of an empire, domination of a world whose subjects would lovingly get down on their knees and bow to a little man in red overalls. To be honest, I’m not one hundred percent on whether Super Mario Bros. was actually a launch game for the NES. Eventually Nintendo sold NES consoles that included the more common Super Mario Bros. / Duck Hunt two-in-one cartridge in addition to the gray Zapper gun accessory (I think). It is famously Mario’s first real grand adventure having legally changed his name from “Jumpman” and moving to bigger and better things from climbing ladders and avoiding barrels in Donkey Kong (1981). Super Mario Bros. is just about my age, and it’s still one of the most accessible games ever developed. The challenge is perfect. It’s still a fun way to kill a little time if you decide not to use any warp zone pipes. The concept and world design was crazy enough to keep running with it for decades. Its retro graphics have not aged well, but arguably everything else has. In a time now where people are playing quick games on their mobile phones and people embracing indie-developed homages like Super Meat Boy, the old has inverted into new. Playing this straight (that is to say, without any warping), I was able to get to 7-3 before I finally saw a Game Over screen. Remind me to try that Koopa turtle 1-Up trick next time.

Joust, Nintendo style.

Balloon Fight

Balloon Fight is the surprise hit of this collection for me and possibly my favorite in this collection. This is most likely because of my strange obsession with the 1982 Williams Electronics arcade game Joust. In Joust, you repeatedly tap a button to make your character’s giant ostrich fly around while trying to take out enemy characters on their ostriches before they have a chance to do the same to you. You are, well, jousting. I am not a great Joust player, but I love the idea and the design and the execution. Balloon Fight takes this idea and spins it into a friendlier “I’m a guy floating on a balloon and I need to take these birds out before they take me out over water instead of lava.” I think it’s even better embracing the game as an adult because of the hilarious concept and the hilarious idea of birds needing to float on balloons rather than just flying around. The fact that a man is taking birds out of the sky when they may have more of a right to be there than he does is something to ponder. Maybe they believe in fair competition, which explains why it’s one man versus about five or six birds per stage. Not to recycle the point, but much like Super Mario Bros. I found it to be a very fun pick-up-and-play kind of game and it’s the kind of thing you will find today in some mobile app stores. There is a two-player mode, but I’m not actually sure that’s supported on the 3DS. The third mode is “Balloon Trip,” which has the player trying to keep the balloon guy afloat dodging lightning bolts and popping other balloons. Thumbs up, I say.

The world's hungriest dragon.

Yoshi

To be perfectly honest, there isn’t much I feel I can say on Yoshi. It seemed like Nintendo wanted to get its fill of puzzle games in like Dr. Mario and Yoshi’s Cookie after the success of Tetris on Game Boy. In this game, you mix and match Mario’s recognizable rogue’s gallery and essentially score points connecting the same enemies together. Score good combos and keep the queues from spilling over and resulting in a Game Over. Occasionally, top and bottom halves of Yoshi’s eggs will drop, and if you manage to sandwich in many enemies in between the halves, you can score a lot of bonus points and hatch a Yoshi. This is an okay little time-waster, but there is something more appealing about Dr. Mario and Tetris. Yoshi feels rather limited.

Cruelty in a box.

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

I should probably alert you to the fact that I didn’t exactly play this on the 3DS, but I recently did play it on the Wii Virtual Console from beginning to end. Zelda II has a bit of gained infamy over the years because it’s a bit of a departure from the design of The Legend of Zelda, which preceded it. The side-scrolling combat of Zelda II would never really see its way into any future two-dimensional entry of the series, nor would the idea of gaining experience points to strengthen health or magic or attacks. We would see the idea of visiting towns and talking to non-player characters who dispense more useless advice than useful in future games. Zelda II might be remembered for two things, if anything: “I am Error,” and its difficulty.

Like the first game, the player travels to several palaces to defeat the boss and find an important item for later use. Honestly, it feels like you as the player don’t have much to go on when not only unlocking new spells, but discovering locations and especially the locations of the palaces of Hyrule. In 2011, this would be a complaint, but I remember that in the ancient calendar year of 1988, a lot of secrets that weren’t hinted at were most likely only available through an issue of Nintendo Power. It’s probably how Nintendo got you to get a subscription! A lot of the game’s difficulty comes in the palaces, where you meet an entirely different set of enemies compared to the ones you run into in the game’s overworld map. In addition, many enemies are just as skilled with a blade as Link is, and you have to maneuver and time your hits to even get a hit in of maybe five just to get to a new area. The palaces become mazes and some areas are accessed in ways that are so not made clear. Unfortunately, if you lose all of your lives (yet another feature that would never be revisited in this series), you start all over from Zelda’s palace where she rests (until you wake her by acquiring the Triforce of Courage) and you have to make your way all the way back. This got especially infuriating at Death Mountain on your way to the final palace. Death Mountain is the stuff of nightmares, with its cruel enemies and their cruel patterns. It is also the game’s real test of courage not only for Link, but for us, who were willing to toil away all those hours gaining strength, to summon the courage needed to face that final palace, where heroes are forged. *ahem* Sorry, got carried away there. The point is, that place is a bitch!

Haunting your childhood dreams.

Zelda II is arguably the least appreciated game in the Legend of Zelda series, but it does have its charm and its difficulty is the stuff of legends. I always applauded Nintendo’s efforts to experiment with different ideas (and that does not include slapping Mario sprites on Doki Doki Panic! and calling it Super Mario Bros. 2) when they did. I was personally relieved when I finished the game finally, compared to my sadness when I finished Ocarina of Time 3D.

It may be a little off for me to jump right into talking about Zelda II without even discussing The Legend of Zelda, but I intend to get to it soon now that I have access to it again. I used to have the Gamecube Collector’s Disc edition from 2003, which had the NES games, Ocarina of Time, and Majora’s Mask but I sold it off.

The next entry will, of course, cover more NES games in this package as I get to them.

E3 2011: 3DS update, Super Mario, Luigi’s Mansion 2!

Let’s get this out of the way.

OH MY GOD THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL TO LUIGI’S MANSION FOR THE NINTENDO 3DS AND I WILL TOTALLY BE THERE DAY ONE!

Sorry about that. It was amazing how divided the original Luigi’s Mansion, launched with the Nintendo Gamecube in 2001, is among people. I didn’t even play it until well into a year of the Gamecube’s US launch. It was a fun concept, if a little restrictive, but I’d have to dig out my copy.

I didn’t download it until yesterday morning, but on Monday evening, June 6, Nintendo released their 2.0.0 system update for their 3DS handheld, which now makes your 3DS a little more useful. It features the long-awaited Nintendo eShop, featuring the Virtual Console and a section called DSi Ware Favorites, featuring presumably some of the games originally on sale for the DSi, like Cave Story and Plants vs. Zombies, now available for the 3DS. In fact, DSi owners can now transfer most their purchases over to the 3DS. In the Virtual Console shop, Super Mario Land, Radar Mission, and Alleyway are available for purchase. As of yesterday evening, The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening DX, the Game Boy Color update of the original Game Boy title, is also available for download. I’m excited to play that since I have actually never gotten to play it. Strangely but not surprisingly, Nintendo has decided to sell separate 3DS cash cards to redeem, which is a separate currency from the Wii/DSi Points system, parallel to the Microsoft Points vs. PlayStation Network Wallet Funds.

Nintendo has offered a free bonus in its first of what I can assume a number of games in their “3D Classics” brand: Excitebike. The 1984 NES game is retouched to utilize the 3D screen, although with the adjustable slider it can still be played in 2D. There is not much to be said about the 3D in the game. It’s the same Excitebike I remember, and I’m still terrible at it. The highlight remains the ability to design courses and that catchy 8-bit theme. Downloading popular NES games to my 3DS is already a convenient notion, hopefully Nintendo puts the 3D to good use.

The system update adds a web browser to the 3DS Home screen, which works about as well as you would expect any mobile browser to. I believe entering URLs, along with the typical history saving and bookmarking, will save certain phrases to the 3DS’s dictionary to suppress the need to type out the same words every single time. One tap of the stylus, and it’s there.

At their E3 presentation, Nintendo informed the press they did not forget about the 3DS. The launch of the device has been less than stellar. It featured no true breakout titles (although the acclaimed port of Super Street Fighter IV and Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars are apparent exceptions) and this system update is available nearly three months after its launch in the United States. The more anticipated titles, such as The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D, aren’t due until later in the year. Ocarina of Time is seeing a release next week. Even I had considered giving up my 3DS until seeing the trailers for Super Mario and Luigi’s Mansion 2. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater 3D is due towards the end of year, but is now rather overshadowed by its high-definition update for the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3, which will utilize the PSP and possibly PS Vita hardware with Konami’s own “transfarring” (that, I assure you, is no typo) system.

As others have argued, the Nintendo DS had a slow start. The games were eventually there, and the handheld crushed the competition. The competition is more fierce now, in the wake of mobile markets, smartphones, and the evolution of smartphone games.

E3 2011: Nintendo’s iPad, the Wii U.

Color me intrigued, Nintendo.

I have owned my Nintendo Wii for three years this month, and my library has never exceeded more than ten games. It would be a disservice to call the console a failure, because the sales numbers would point and laugh at the idea. Much of the system’s charm came directly from Nintendo themselves, with games like Super Mario Galaxy and Super Mario Galaxy 2. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Donkey Kong Country Returns (my personal favorite), and the Metroid Prime trilogy offer some quality software for this console–except for the fact that this was the company’s attempt to please the “core” fan base while they showered those darned “casual” folks with mini-game compilations and time-wasters, some providing genuine fun, some amounting to nothing more than shovelware. Yesterday, as I watched Nintendo give their presentation at E3, I started to wonder whether I personally ever gave the Wii a chance at all. I’d been critical of their decisions, as have others: an internet service that is almost at an atrocious level compared to the likes of Xbox Live and PlayStation Network, delays for their own releases when their third-party support is weak and those third-party games that ARE critically well-received seeing no marketing, thus no sales, thus another criticism of the lack of third-party support. Combined with the fact that the Wii is incapable of high-definition past 480p, there is some justification to be critical of the Wii. Maybe I should have looked harder for the games, but these companies should have made more of an effort to show me, to wow me. I remain indifferent about the concept of motion-controlled gaming. It works when it works, and it doesn’t the rest of the time.

Nintendo heard the critics, for the most part, and unveiled their successor to the Wii: Wii U.

The Wii U Controller, resembling a tablet with a button and pad interface.

If you see the image above, this is not the console itself, but the controller, which Nintendo is far more keen to show us than the base on which it operates. It is, according to their web site, a pad with a 6.2-inch, 16:9 touch screen. It features the typical button face, two circle pads (like their 3DS handheld device as opposed to an analog stick), a camera, accelerometer and gyroscope, stylus, rumble, and a microphone. The first disappointing news already is that the touch screen is of the resistive variety, not capacitive, so it may not be as accurate using your fingers, but I imagine at least the stylus will suppress that. What was rather impressive is the ability for video chat on the controller, which I imagine will be just one of many features Nintendo will cook up for that camera. Oh, and the Wii U will still make use of the original Wii remote.

The Wii U will support HDMI output, along with S-video, component and composite. Nintendo will finally, finally deliver in HD.

Now here is where the real challenge lies for Nintendo. One of the major criticisms of the Wii was the lack of third-party support. Nintendo was rather ecstatic to show you the kinds of titles it has lined up, such as Ninja Gaiden (Tecmo), Batman: Arkham City (WB Games), Darksiders 2 (THQ), Assassin’s Creed (Ubisoft), and all things EA Sports. This could work for them. Could. Wii adopters were mostly classified as casual players, and now Nintendo has to sell these games, most if not all will appear on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3, to them (which shouldn’t be too difficult) but especially convince the ‘core’ audience to play the Wii U version of the big-budget game. The issue here is that Nintendo has caught up in a race where the competition is ready to move forward. Sony’s PlayStation Vita will sync from handheld to the PS3 console just as the Wii U controller will do. In fact, the PlayStation Portable already does this with the PlayStation 3. Sony has mentioned that they are working however which way on the PlayStation 3 successor. Microsoft is keen on giving the Xbox 360 a few more years by adding more games for its Kinect motion-control device and whatever they are planning for the Xbox 360 successor.

I hope Nintendo is listening to the critics, no matter how asinine the argument, and I hope they have learned from the Wii. With this investment and the kind of technology you are delivering to curious consumers, there is no falling back on Mario or The Legend of Zelda for the numbers. They will have a number of things to consider, also. Ergonomic design of the controller, battery life, comfort, aesthetics (although it does look friendly). Your internet service needs to get people interested, finding a less cumbersome way of security that will give people peace-of-mind in the wake of the PlayStation Network but feel friendly, too. You need online stability as well. Above all, there is price. The price is always the moment you stand on thin ice. Too low depending on production and design costs, you sell at a loss and won’t see profits for at least two or three years, sell high, you drive away the customers and you have your “FIVE HUNDRED NINETY-NINE U.S. DOLLARS” moment you can’t live down for some time. There is absolute promise in this console, though. A Nintendo console offering HD visuals is good enough for now to attract the folks, but think ahead, especially in terms of 3DS cooperation.

Nintendo, what have U got?

Pokémon: Black Version — Stop the madness now.

I debated, honestly, whether or not to even write about my experiences with Pokémon Black. It is the newest installment in the franchise, and I am playing it never having finished last year’s installment SoulSilver. Part of why I am even able to talk about Black is that this is honestly the only game I am playing at the moment, while everyone else enjoys their copies of Mortal Kombat and Portal 2. Truthfully, I am not even here to discuss the game in full. I have invested an estimated 35 non-consecutive hours to this game, capturing close to 70 Pokémon species, training six of them like mad, and fighting for seven of the eight gym badges that I need to take on the elite trainers in the next phase of this journey.

I am enjoying the game far more than I expected. Although, in its core, it feels like yet another coat of paint, I applaud the developers’ attempts to make the game’s world feel lively. From my own experiences and memories, most towns were small suburbs and quiet villages. Here they are bustling, busy cities, fast-moving villages, each with their own theme and motif (Icirrus City, home to the gym leader specializing in ice type Pokémon, is practically a Christmas village without Santa Claus). The season changes are an interesting addition, although I’m not sure I want to experience a virtual winter in this April humidity and rain. The design feels straightforward this time. Maybe I finally have the right team this time. I actually really like every single Pokémon I’ve used in my party, and they’re all equally trained, but if it weren’t for the Lucky Egg and Experience Share items, I would probably have found the process a bit grueling as grinding in RPGs tends to be. I love unlocking new moves, watching their evolution processes, and whatever else helps my party feel stronger.

The journey of a lifetime.

Despite how much I am enjoying Pokémon Black, however:

- Fuck you, Elesa, and your Emolga that spams Double Team and Volt Switch.
-I still hate any move that makes my Pokémon confused. I know I’ll end up hitting myself during battles 90% of the time, but should I use the move, all opponents snap out of it in a turn of two.
-Horn Drill. Fuck that shit.
-The encounter rate is through the roof. Literally one step after a battle, you will enter a new battle in the wild. I’ve spent so much money on Super Repels, it’s ridiculous.
-Your character’s buddies/rivals. Bianca and Cheren? Most annoying characters in a videogame since Herbert Moon from Red Dead Redemption.

So far, so good.

Vanquish: Ballet of Bullets

I do apologize for not having written anything in almost two months. Although I have been playing my fair share of games, I don’t necessarily feel 2011 is starting off as hot as I would have liked.

One of those games I’ve been playing (and playing over) is Vanquish, Sega’s attempt at a Western-style third-person shooter a la Gears of War. It was developed by Platinum Games, makers of Bayonetta (played by millions) and Madworld (played by three people). I only played Bayonetta as a demo and while I did get a kick out of it, at the time I didn’t feel it was for me. It’s pretty cheap now, so maybe I’ll give it a go.

 

Seriously. It's like Iron Man versus Mega-Michael Bay-tron.

Vanquish is the story of a group of Russian ultranationalists (videogames’ new Third Reich apparently) who annihilate San Francisco and seize an American space colony, demanding the surrender of the United States government and oh really who cares? Let’s kill robots!

Yes, in what seems to be a subversion of sorts from other action games that wage virtual human against virtual human, Vanquish launches its own Judgment Day and decides humans should be fighting robots. The Russians have robots, lots and lots of robots. The US has DARPA, the Marines, and Sam Gideon, who the player will be controlling for the duration of this war. Sam is testing DARPA’s new fancy Augmented Reaction Suit that they dreamed up after watching the Iron Man movies far too many times. This suit is so advanced and cutting-edge that throwing a punch overheats the suit, taking too many hits overheats the suit, it allows Sam to fly skate around with boosters on his feet (ROCKET SKATES!), and did I mention throwing a punch overheats the suit? To be fair, he’s using the suit’s boosters to really drive the point home.

More or less the moment you take control of Sam, you’re in what is typically referred to as “bullet hell.” The robots are everywhere firing at you and your squadmates. Sam is armed with a number of weapons, although to be frank I pretty much ran through Vanquish twice with mostly the assault rifle and heavy machine gun. Along the way, you’ll find green cubes that allow you to upgrade the weapon, allowing for more ammo and greater firepower. In a nice addition, if your weapon is fully loaded, picking up the same weapon also upgrades it one rank.

Vanquish features that oh-so-familar cover system that you probably won’t be using that much if at all. Sam’s rocket skates allow him to glide all over the area and fire at enemies. When he does this, he enters into the Augmented Reaction mode, which is the nerdy way of saying “bullet time.” Everything slows down, allowing you, and thus Sam, to get better aiming at his foes without them ever getting a chance to turn their guns to you. Of course, do this for too long and the suit overheats. When the suit overheats, you better take cover immediately because those bullets WILL find you and the game does that annoying thing games do when you take damage, the screen turns red and starts having a seizure. Why do games do this? Hey, your screen is turning redder and redder and pulsing like the human body does! Although it’s now harder for you to see the screen and make out the situation to devise a quick strategic retreat, it’s just going to keep doing this until — ahh, there we go. Dead. Enjoy making up the last twenty minutes!

Speaking of those twenty minutes, it wouldn’t be a Japanese game without ridiculously cheap boss battles! I originally ran through Vanquish on Normal mode, and even then it was pretty damned tough. When I fought the first sub-boss, I was doing pretty well. The bosses have glowing parts that scream “PLEASE SHOOT HERE!” so that their core opens up for the smacking. I had almost taken him out, and then he shot what would be Iron Man’s chest beam times a thousand and boom, I am dead. Despite having destroyed the giant robot’s legs, I had to do it all over. 20 to 25 minutes gone. It wasn’t like the boss was difficult, either. The bosses are bullet sponges for the most part. Hell, it happened AGAIN when I had to fight two of them AT ONCE. Japanese developers love to do that, because they’re sadists. The strange thing is that you will fight some tough bosses, but the final boss is actually a piece of cake.

Vanquish is a pretty fun game for the most part, especially if you don’t think too much about it. I mean, you’re shooting robots in third-person with a regular assault rifle (or a rocket launcher, the “LFE Gun” that shoots like an energy bubble at enemies). It’s not new. In fact, it should be pretty stale, but I loved what a mess the battlefield was and how crazy the fights got. Marines get shot down, and if they’re hurting Sam can revive them for bonus ammo and new weapons. I ended up saving like 10 of 80 or so wounded. I wish the robots had been programmed not to shoot at people being treated like in World War II.

It can have some serious frustration at hand, but Vanquish both drove me crazy and entertained the heck out of me.

Do I have to start scoring things now? I guess if that’s how this goes now. 4 out of 5!