Infinity Blade -- Father, grandfather, great-grandfather, I will avenge you.

I am sadly prone to throw away countless dollars on iOS games. Some of them are good, some addicting, but in the end I’ll play the game for maybe a week or a month and move on. I bought into the Angry Birds phenomenon when I got my iPhone 4 and after a short while I got sick of it while everyone else continues to sing its praises. I have THREE racing games, but the only one that ever got my attention for more than a month was Real Racing. I’m not even bothering with the sequel despite its critical acclaim. Just when I thought I’d be done downloading apps to my phone did I find one so glorious, fun, and frustrating that I’m mad at myself for not having jumped sooner (although I managed to find it on sale one weekend for $3). That game, folks, is Chair Entertainment’s Infinity Blade.

So yes, this is yet another late-to-the-party entry, and aside from Pokemon Black, Infinity Blade is my other mobile addiction at the moment. The premise seems simple: in a land where fake Latin is spoken, you are a warrior on a quest to defeat the God King. I wish I had thought of a name like “God King” back in the days of AOL. Best. Screen name. Ever. Anyway, in a medieval take on Nintendo’s Punch-Out! games, you get into fights with other warriors, which consist of dodging hits left or right and striking when the enemy leaves an opening. Chaining together sword strikes can have devastating effects on enemies. Dodging in the right direction also gives the player a “dodge break” allowing them to get some hits in and STRIKE FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE. You make your way to the God King and his protégé. The God King will undoubtedly slaughter you on your first encounter with him and then, years later, your now grown-up son will undertake his father’s armor and avenge him. Then he’ll probably die, and HIS son will take up the mantle, and if you still can’t bring the God King down then, well, you get the idea. Honestly, thinking about the big picture, I would hate to be part of this bloodline. Supposedly the further the bloodline, the harder the game will get. I’m only on the third bloodline and I STILL haven’t taken the God King out.

 

Infinity Blade: WITH A VENGEANCE!

The game does reward you with money, potions, and experience points. You can spend the points to increase attack power, health, defense, etc. and money on new armor, weapons, and rings that have certain spells like healing or poisoning. It gets quite addicting because there are really so many items to choose from and different ways to equip items that you’re always looking for the best combination possible.

My issues with the game might stem from my own iPhone screen as sometimes my character does not dodge when I need him to, and running my finger up the screen actually doesn’t respond. My giant hands are prone to excessive sweat and all that crap, so take that complaint with a grain of salt. However, if you’re quick enough, you can practically be a ninja in loud-ass armor. I’m certain playing the game for a long period of time will do a number on the iPhone’s battery life, give its impressive visuals and man can that thing get hot.

This experience begs the question: Where the HELL is my Star Wars lightsaber battle game that should play exactly like this?!